Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
