If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
