Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
