it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize