I wish i was in the wii world.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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