I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
