I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
