Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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