Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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