if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize