Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
