THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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