Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize