Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
