gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
