Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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