Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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