Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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