So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
