I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
