smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize