so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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