Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
