dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
