the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
