omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You smell like stripper and shame
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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