in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
