where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
