I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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