Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
