So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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