i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
