i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
