That's intense
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize