Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
