Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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