I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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