I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
