my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
