all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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