don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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