Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
