just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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