So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
try to milk me bitch
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