If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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