I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sorry about my life...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
