i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
