Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
