ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
