dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
