Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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