just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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