with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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