we're blogging at a bar
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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