READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
