I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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