Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
