HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize