she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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