I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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