So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize