I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
