He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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