My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize
