I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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