Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize