Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
