this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
